FilmStew.com: QUOTEOFTHEDAY

"The real estate market is so bad right now, he thought a movie about a homicidal girl who sells cigarettes would be a good investment."

10/03/2008

Mike McCarthy, Memphis based no-budget filmmaker (Cigarette Girl), commenting on the fact that the $10,000 needed for his latest was provided by local realtor Jay Nelson.

"It says here that "Nights in Rodanthe" is ""The Notebook" of 2008." Which is great, because "The Notebook" was "The English Patient" of 2004."

09/29/2008

Stephen Colbert, Emmy winning host (The Colbert Report), making fun of one of the pull quotes featured in ads for the Richard Gere-Diane Lane drama.

"Hari is the name of a child in the film. Hari is a God in Hindu religion and Puttar in Punjabi - and sometimes in Hindi - means "son." So if you pronounce the two words in Hindi, it does not sound similar to Harry Potter."

09/16/2008

Lucky Kohli, director (Hari Puttar), bemoaning legal action from Warner Bros. that claims the Bollywood film hews to closely to J.K. Rowling.

"I got so many cars, I get stuck in my own traffic."

09/12/2008

Jerry Seinfeld, pitchman (Microsoft), explaining in TV Commercial #2 to fellow out-of-touch gazillionaire Bill Gates why they both need to reconnect with average folk.

"We've been trying to fill up the arsehole with as much product as we can. I like the idea of being very busy for the next several – certainly for the foreseeable future. I want to make as many movies as I can in as many different genres as I can."

09/05/2008

Guy Ritchie, director (RocknRolla), gushing about his nascent collaborative relationship with Hollywood producer Joel Silver.

"Fcking saw "Zack and Miri" last night. I can’t say much because of the fcking NDA I made myself sign, but I can say this: it’s fcking astounding! You know that feeling you had when you were fcking watching the first "Clerks" movie and you were like, 'Wow, this guy really fcking knows what he’s doing'? And then the fcking feeling you got while fcking watching "Clerks II" that like, 'Wow, this guy knows what the fck is up again'? Multiply that by a fcking billion. This fcking film is in very fcking capable fcking hands."

08/27/2008

Kevin Smith, writer-director (Zack and Miri Make a Porno), being spoofed for his recent ebullient reviews of The Dark Knight, Watchmen and Star Trek XI.

"It is astonishing that Frank Lloyd, who made 157 films earning 14 Oscar nominations, is now a largely forgotten figure."

08/20/2008

Sean Connery, actor, bemoaning in his new autobiography Being a Scot (August 21st) the forgotten status of a Scottish born Hollywood pioneer.

"Don't do it like that, don't suck your finger like that, that's what a woman does. Do it like this."

08/04/2008

Orlando Bloom, actor (Pirates of the Caribbean), giving advice to his sister Samantha as part of Masterclass-style feedback on her portrayal of a male Russian poet in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival staging of A Cloud in Trousers.

"And you don’t know a f*cking thing about handling the media, you paranoid control freak."

07/22/2008

Madonna, actress-singer, yelling back at husband Sean Penn at 3 a.m. one morning in a hotel suite, after he - during the making of Shanghai Surprise - bellowed, "'I'm the actor, you're not."

"After the black was on, I would spray water over his eyes, and he would squeeze his eyes and shake his head, and all that black, drippy, smudgy stuff would happen."

07/15/2008

John Caglione Jr., make-up artist (The Dark Knight), describing one of the ways he worked with Heath Ledger on a daily basis to create the killer clown look of the Joker.

"I loved his movies as a kid. When I later acted in one of his films, I learned that a prolific and brilliant producer could also be a terrific guy and a wonderful teacher. So it’s no surprise then that he has now given us a wise and utterly engrossing look at his life."

07/01/2008

Ron Howard, producer-director (The Da Vinci Code II), endorsing a new memoir written by producer Walter Mirisch, for whom he once performed in The Spikes Gang.

"It's a lot sexier to be on strike than out of work."

06/26/2008

J.K. Simmons, actor (The Closer), suggesting why a lot of unemployed SAG members may vote in favor of an actors' strike.

"At first I was not sure how much high school had changed since my generation. But after two years of working on this movie, I came to realize that, though fashion and technology may alter, everything else - all the wonderful and horrible experiences of being 17, the feeling of being utterly lost - is the same as it ever was."

06/19/2008

Nanette Burstein, director (American Teen), commenting on the fundamental take-away of her groundbreaking new documentary.

"Ninety-five percent of what's written about us is untrue."

06/13/2008

Angelina Jolie, actress (Wanted), exaggerating somewhat about the ongoing rash of inaccurate stories about her, Brad Pitt and the brood.

"Casting has begun and we've seen thousands of kids. I believe we've found the next superstars."

06/11/2008

M. Night Shyamalan, writer-director-producer (The Happening), talking up at the 2008 Licensing International Expo his 2010 live action feature spinoff of the Nickleodeon animated TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender.