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Features
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A Date with John Waters
From novelty song compilations to that guy who played the Singing Asshole in Pink Flamingos, life is never dull in the Baltimore beat world of this 60-year-old filmmaker.
Thursday, January 11, 2007 at 4:00 PM
By Daniel Robert Epstein
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New Line Records
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No Celine Dion on this one
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Though it’s been a few years since John Waters was heard from as a filmmaker with the NC-17 rated A Dirty Shame, he remains as busy as ever. In addition to his annual tour in support of the saucy compilation album “A John Waters Christmas,” he’s got another CD – “Date with John Waters” – set to come out just in time for Valentine’s Day. For some, entries such as Mink Stole’s “Sometimes I Wish I Had a Gun” will no doubt perfectly encapsulate their sentiments vis a vis the saccharine holiday.
On the acting front, Waters recently filmed a guest starring role as an undertaker for an upcoming episode of My Name is Earl. He is also currently wrapping up his duties as the “groom reaper” on Court TV’s first scripted series, the true crime based ’Til Death Do Us Part, which debuts later this year. And, of course, we can’t forget the part of the flasher in Hollywood’s upcoming adaptation of the musical based on his 1988 movie of the same name (!?).
“In the Broadway musical, my part got cut,” Waters reveals during a recent telephone interview with FilmStew from the Baltimore borough of Hamden. “There is no psychiatrist in the musical. So I play a flasher.”
“John Travolta is great,” he continues, offering a preview of what moviegoers can expect when New Line’s summer extravaganza Hairspray arrives in theaters July 20th. “He can sing and dance; he’s a great actor. The role of Edna Turnblad is the opposite of a drag role in a way, because no drag queen would ever want to look like that. It’s a character role, really.”
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Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com
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In Toronto promoting the doc This Filthy World
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It’s hard to say if the uncredited actor who played the part of the Singing Asshole in Pink Flamingos would deem his part a character role. But the man, now in his fifties, remains a fixture at Waters’ just passed annual Christmas party in Baltimore, which has been going for forty years strong. Still, Waters is the last person who want to make the official introduction to mom.
“Every year, my mother always says, ‘Who is that guy?’” he recounts. “I go, ‘Oh, it’s just a friend.’ I never could tell her. The guy told me that the only good thing about his parents dying was that they never found out he did it.”
“He has a straight job,” Waters continues in reference to the rectal role player, who prefers to remain anonymous. “He brings his wife to the Christmas parties and when the Singing Asshole comes up, she rolls her eyes and laughs about it. Not all of his friends know about it, but certainly his intimate friends do.”
With Christmas Day and Valentine’s Day out of the way, Waters has his sights set on any number of other holidays from which to hang a compilation album. There’s Columbus Day, Veteran’s Day and the Fourth of July, which Waters envisions as a golden opportunity to resurrect chronicles of forgotten fireworks accidents.
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New Line Records
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Did you know "Santa Claus is a Black Man"?
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It’s all part of Waters’ long-held fascination for novelty songs, which he has put to good effect for the soundtracks of every one of his films dating back to Pink Flamingos. Just don’t get him started on Little Cindy, the performer who once dreamed of filming but who now, on account of a few too many repeat listenings of the beloved Xmas album ditty “Happy Birthday Jesus,” he just wants to kill.
“I want to eventually do every single holiday there is, so that it can be a good box set,” Waters insists. “So whenever you get a day off from work, you can play that CD. I bet there are some hideous novelty songs for Groundhog’s Day, about seeing your shadow and all that stuff.”
Meanwhile, last year's Netflix documentary This Filthy World, directed by Curb Your Enthusiasm<’s Jeff Garlin, showcased some of Waters own novelty material. It's culled from one of a number of traveling road shows in the Waters arsenal, in this case one has been going on in nightclubs and at college campuses for the past 30 years.
“This Filthy World is like my vaudeville act,” Waters suggests. “I’m always wondering [for the next one] what would be a new sex act?”
“I’m always afraid that when you die and you’re famous, necrophiliacs f*ck you,” he continues. “Because if you are a necrophiliac, where else can you get a job but a funeral parlor?"
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Ron Galella/WireImage.com
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Marissa Jaret Winokur, of the Broadway version of Hairspray
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For a while, Waters was offered just about every reality TV opportunity under the scabrous sun. But soon enough, his agent got the word out that his client hates them and was not – or will ever be – interested in participating. However, beyond Waters’ admitted visits to the website DudeTube.com, there’s always that animated porn flick idea.
“I had a little animation in A Dirty Shame,” Waters explains. “I had squirrels f*cking. I always wanted to do a porno movie with Alvin [of The Chipmunks], but I think there would be copyright issues.”
Waters is in fact in the middle of trying to get his next feature film directorial effort off the ground, but the slogging will probably be a little harder, he says, because of the fact that his last film got the dreaded NC-17 rating. Still, Waters continues to find time to put his ordained Minister credentials to good use.
“I’ve done a couple marriages this year,” he reveals. “All private friends pretty much, or people who ask me not to tell. I’m a don’t-ask-don’t-tell wedding kind of guy.”
Academy members have until this Friday to return their ballots for the 2006 Oscars, and for AMPAS card carrier Waters, there’s no doubt that United 93 figured prominently in the Best Picture category. He cites the stark Paul Greengrass homage as his favorite film of the past year.
In the meantime, there are the still-warm treasured memories of another memorable Baltimore Christmas bash. This year, Waters hosted it just before jumping onto a plane bound for his holiday destination of Switzerland.
“The party is probably more traditional than people would think,” Waters maintains. “It’s my Baltimore party, so a third of the group I only see once a year at this party. It’s everything from people I went to high school with to movie stars. A very mixed crowd from all walks of my life.”
“And my parents of course,” he adds. “They’re lovely and wonderful and have been very supportive, even though they were scared of me. Basically, they’re very conservative, so I’m sure they’ve had to adapt to me being their son.”
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