Coach Carter (2005) Review

In the film, Coach Carter contracts with his students to maintain a 2.3 grade point average. If he were to review his own movie, we imagine he'd propose a similar kind of deal.

A man of motivation © Paramount Pictures

Gentleman, ladies. Are you tired of going to the multiplex full of hopes and dreams, only to be disappointed by yet another empty-headed Hollywood offering? Are you ready to make the commitment to a gritty, sentimental movie and turn your back on Jennifer Garner in an eye-popping red bustier?

To those of you who answer, 'No,' I understand; feel free to click the 'Back' button at the top of your Internet browser and be on your way. There will be no hard feelings. But for all those of you who think, 'Maybe,' I say this: work with me on some of the fundamentals of Coach Carter and I promise you an entertainment experience that easily rates as the most charmingly scattered equivalent to a rating of 2.3 out a possible four stars.

Ashanti makes impressive debut © Paramount Pictures

First off, I need you to commit to giving me a little over two hours of your time. At 136 minutes, Coach Carter is still one shy of Million Dollar Baby and a full 34 minutes less than The Aviator. I understand it's not what you might expect from an MTV Films and Tollins/Robbins production, featuring the assured debut of singer Ashanti. But as far back as 1993, Michael Tollin has been committed to the sport of basketball through documentaries like Hardwood Dreams, narrated by Wesley Snipes. The least we can do is honor this man's commitment to the sport.

Also, you need to understand that the Samuel L. Jackson of Coach Carter is not the Samuel L. Jackson of Twisted, S.W.A.T. or Basic. This is a movie that recognizes and fully embraces the fact that the 'L' in Samuel L. stands for Leroy. Yes, sir. Coach Carter is a ghetto valentine, set to the funky beat of Chingy, Kanye West, Mac 10 and many more musical artists.

Alright. Time now to move on to a quick little free association exercise. Did you like Dangerous Minds with Michelle Pfeiffer? How about The Principal, with Jim Belushi and Louis Gosset Jr.? To all those of you who answered, 'Yes' to one or both of these questions, I've got some good news. This is the movie for you.

Solid ensemble cast © Paramount Pictures

Now, how many of you loved Hoosiers? Breaking Away? Or maybe Edward James Olmos' inspirational classroom tale Stand and Deliver? In that case, I'm not going to lie to you. You're in for a world of hurt.

Coach Carter is not in that league. There are overdone subplots about drug dealers and teenage pregnancy, a cardboard villain in the form of Principal Garrison (Denise Dowson), and a school board hearing scene that makes the finale of Scent of a Woman look like Shakespeare.

But what Coach Carter does have going for it is a big, loud thumping heart, worn proudly on the sleeve of that popcorn box you're going to pay $5 for. It's a sloppy and sentimental shout out, a cry for help in the face of a crumbling U.S. public education system and a society that continues to idolize the bling-bling world of its professional athletes.

What's that, sir? You say my movie sounds a little bit like an ABC After School special. Fair enough. But here's the thing. It's based on a true story, my true story, in little old Richmond, California. And I guarantee you that if you are faintly or even completely unaware of the real-life back story, this movie will pack a much bigger wallop than for those of you who already know all the details.

The real Coach Carter © Steve Granitz/Wireimage.com 

Which brings me finally to my biggest nemesis, a modern age ailment I urge you to check at the Stadium Seating Theater door: cynicism. Forget about character arcs, three-act structure and whether or not the extras are convincing. And instead, just focus on this film's two biggest strengths: a nucleus of fantastically talented male actors brought together by casting directors Sarah Finn and Randi Hiller, as well as a deeply felt, man-to-man performance by Samuel L. Jackson as Coach Carter.

In his own way, Jackson is as much a success story as Damien Carter, Kenyan Stone or any of the other young members of the Richmond Oilers. He has gone from playing Gang Member No. 2 in Ragtime (1981) and Hold-Up Man in Coming to America (1988), to being one of Hollywood's busiest and most versatile performers.

Above all, Coach Carter is a chance to watch Samuel L. in what feels like a throwback, a stripped down alternative to his voiceover work in the video games Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and The Incredibles, and his upcoming big budget turns in Star Wars: Episode III and XXX: State of the Union.

This is my story, this is Samuel L. Jackson's story, and this is ultimately the story of just about every kid trying to get educated in an inner city American school. Put it all together and I guarantee you it equates to more memorable moments than Daredevil and Elektra put together.

Editor's Note: In reviewing a movie about a firebrand basketball coach, it seemed only natural to try and do so in the form of a firebrand speech by that very same motivator. The real Coach Carter, an Executive Producer on the film, did not write this review. That honor belongs to Richard Horgan. We hope you enjoyed what is the latest in our occasional attempts to stretch the boundaries of the standard notions of a movie reviewing format.