Hostage (2005) Review

We hate to say it, but an episode of Bravo's Celebrity Poker Showdown featuring Bruce Willis and Kevin Pollak would have been waaay more entertaining.

More of this guy... © Miramax Films

Back in the fall of 1992, Ben Stiller nailed a parody of Die Hard on his short-lived sketch comedy show for FOX, which went on to win an Emmy for the comedian and his co-stars Andy Dick, Janeane Garafolo and Bob Odenkirk. There was John McClane, shopping on Christmas Eve at a generic grocery store and wondering aloud about his cursed holiday luck after the produce section was taken over by terrorists. At one point, Stiller-as-Willis could be seen running down an aisle, desperately trying to come up with a new 'Yippie Kai Yay' catch phrase by looking at some of the merchandise on the shelves and free associating.

But that was then, and this is now. Rather than the boffo action star biding his time between Die Hard 2 (1992) and Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995), Willis is a 49-year-old icon in search of one more action hurrah. More remarkably, it is now Stiller, the man who made fun of Willis, towering above him on the box office charts with family friendly comedies such as Meet the Fockers.

If Stiller were still in the sketch comedy game, he would most likely parody Hostage as something called Try Hard, for it is clear that Willis and his producing partner Arnold Rifkin saw this well-intentioned but hopeless mess as a perfect kind of wink-wink warm-up for next year's Die Hard 4.0. Instead, it's proof positive that Miramax should stay out of the high octane Hollywood action game and that the combination of a promising young French director (Florent Siri) and a great French director (co-writer Luc Besson) do not necessarily translate to a well-directed English language action thriller.

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